Wanderlust
by roktavor
Summary: A vacation is a normal family thing, sure - but Metal Bat doesn't have a normal family to begin with.


**A/N:** For Batarou week day 5, gen prompt: Vacation Time.

* * *

 **Wanderlust**

"I'm home." Badd kicks the door shut behind himself, trying not to sag to the floor right here in the entryway. He toes his shoes off and then trudges into the house proper. Curiosity at the lack of response is what keeps him going, searching the entire place rather than collapsing into bed or the shower.

It's awfully warm in here, he notes, just as he spots the house's other two residents.

Garou and Zenko are both sprawled on their backs on the kitchen floor, surrounded by a minefield of popsicle wrappers and empty ice cream tubs. In the corner of the room there's a bucket of ice in front of a fan, Zenko is wearing her swimsuit, and Garou is gratuitously shirtless.

"…What's goin' on here?" Badd asks, half afraid he'll regret it.

Zenko answers first, raising a hand in a lazy wave. "Hey, big bro." And then her arm flops back down as though melting, sinking to the floor.

"The air conditioner is broken," Garou announces, lifting his head to squint in Badd's general direction, "we're dying in this heat."

Badd rolls his eyes, propping his bat at the kitchen entrance and shedding his jacket as he wanders in. It's marginally cooler, thanks to the ice and fan. The pile of ice cream wrappers is concerning, though, he won't lie. "Well, did ya call anyone to come fix it?"

" _He_ did." Zenko points a finger towards Garou, her nose wrinkling. "There was lotsa yelling and bad words."

"Tattletale," Garou accuses, flicking a popsicle stick in Zenko's general direction.

She sticks her tongue out at him in retaliation.

"Garou," Badd says, stepping over his sprawled out family members and collecting a handful of wrappers as he goes, "what'd you do?"

From his spot on the ground, Garou groans, overly dramatic and short with frustration. "You should hear how much they charge just to come _look_ at the stupid thing. It'd probably take selling all your S Class organs to pay to _fix_ it…."

"It's their livelihood!" The trash he's picked up barely puts a dent in the mess littering the floor, but Badd isn't gonna completely clean up after them. He shoves what he has into the garbage can before moving on to the fridge.

"No – no, see, they know that they're needed in the summer." Garou shifts on the floor, lifting his arms to gesture wildly as he relates his conspiracy theory. "They overcharge because we'll all die without them, and they'll never lower their prices if even one person gives in."

"You've put a disturbing amount of thought into this." Popping open the freezer only to see a barren wasteland of empty ice cube trays, Badd promptly shuts it again. Iceless water it is, then.

Garou heaves a sigh – again, overdramatic. "Domesticity ruined me," he says, throwing an arm over his eyes.

Badd rolls his eyes over the rim of his glass as he drinks. "Sure it did." Domesticity's actually done almost nothing to tame Garou. "So, how many repairmen did you offend?"

"Just a couple…."

"He threw the phonebook out the window after bein' on the phone all day," Zenko supplies, once again helpfully pointing at Garou. "Then we went to buy ice cream," _too much_ ice cream, Badd's going to have to have a talk with Garou about spoiling appetites, "and now we're here."

Suffice to say, Badd has plenty of reason when he groans out a, "Dammit, Garou."

A hand pops up from the floor, a sharp fingernail pointing at Badd. "Language!"

Badd kicks at Garou on his way towards the kitchen door, and contemplates dumping his water on his head. He'd probably enjoy that, though, in this heat, and thanks to him Badd doesn't have time for counterproductive shit like that.

"You're a worse influence on Zenko than I am," Badd argues. "She's gonna hear swearing, but at least I never taught her to be such a dramatic whiner."

(Though, really, he does try not to swear in front of his baby sister. The heat is getting to him. And he was already tired. And _Garou_.)

"It's too _hot_ ," Garou whines, dramatically.

"Yeah!" Zenko agrees, her tone nearly identical – which only proves Badd's point.

As he leaves the room, Badd snatches up his metal bat with his free hand, the other still holding his glass of water. "I'm gonna go wash this monster gunk offa myself," he says, "and then _I'll_ call a repairman about the AC."

"I don't see why you should," Garou says, "we could fix it ourselves at a fraction of the cost."

" _No_ , Garou." That's the last thing Badd needs. DIY repairs with _Garou_. He can sense critical damage in the near future, down that path. "You two are gonna clean up the kictchen, and make ice." Badd pauses just outside the doorway, turning around to point his bat at Garou. "And I mean it: _no fixing the AC on your own_ , got it?"

"Yeah, yeah." Garou waves a dismissive hand.

x

One shower, and one fire extinguished AC unit later, Badd makes the rounds. He doesn't bother getting the phone book from the yard, instead using his phone to search up and call every repairman in the vicinity. In the hopes of finding one that Garou hasn't pissed off – or _scared_ off – too much.

"Well," he announces to the empty living room when finished, letting his cell clatter onto the coffee table, "I got a guy who can come and replace it, but not until next week."

Garou appears out of pretty much thin air, wandering around the corner. He's still not wearing a shirt. "How much are you paying him?" he asks, sinking onto the couch next to Badd.

"I ain't gonna tell you." It's too hot to start an argument right now. Plus, Badd gets a discount thanks to his S Class status, but Garou absolutely does not need to know this. (Neither does he need to know that Badd did his own bit of haggling to get the price down just a liiittle bit more.)

There's a scoff from Garou. "Too much, then."

Notably he doesn't argue that he could install a new one just fine, which means he must be at least kind of ashamed of the scorch marks on his pants.

"I'm the breadwinner, anyway," Badd says, "I'll pay for whatever I want."

"Fine." Garou's voice has an edge of bitterness to it that Badd doesn't miss. His mouth is set in a scowl. "But I'm not staying here without air conditioning."

"Me neither," Zenko pipes up as she appears from the hallway to stand in front of them with her hands on her hips.

Badd raises an eyebrow. This conversation is being herded in a certain direction, but he's not sure what that direction is – other than that he feels like he's being played somehow. Not that the air conditioning was broken on purpose, but that someone here is using that fact to their upmost advantage.

"So whattaya propose?" he asks, walking into whatever trap this is.

Sitting forward on the couch, Garou gives him a sideways glance. "Well…."

Zenko's hand goes up, her pointer finger in the air. "Vacation!" she announces with grandeur. "We obviously have to go on vacation."

Oh, that's…not such a bad idea. Problem is, Badd isn't sure that the Hero Association offers vacation time. Even if they do , they probably won't think twice about calling him in. "Listen –"

" _Vacation_ ," she repeats, "we haven't been on a vacation in years, bro!"

There's a very good reason for that, actually. Badd has been a little bit busy trying to raise his kid sister with nothing but an abysmal education and a career that hinges on his ability to beat the shit out of things with a bat. He hasn't even had time to date anyone, let alone –

"Yes," Garou agrees, pointy chin resting on Badd's shoulder, "vacation."

So Badd has time to date now, so what. Garou _lives_ here, that doesn't count, it makes things easy (and also ridiculously difficult).

Still. His job is more secure now, and S Class pays a hell of a lot better than C Class.

Plus, it _is_ only gonna get hotter as the summer stretches on. Badd doesn't really want to be here without air conditioning, either.

"…Fine." In the end, what does him in is the combined might of two pairs of puppy eyes. "We'll go to the beach for a few days."

Zenko cheers, giving Badd a quick hug before dancing out of the room to go pack. He can't help but smile after her – that excitement of hers has always been contagious.

…Although, not to Garou, it seems. Badd can feel his glare, and how he goes stiff with irritation as his chin pulls away from Badd's shoulder. Turning, Badd comes face to face with narrowed, less-than-pleased golden eyes.

"We're going somewhere _warm_?"

"Well duh," Badd says, brows scrunching. He barely manages to resist rolling his eyes. "Everyone goes somewhere warm on vacation."

That disappointment on Garou's face is fast morphing into a pout. "But I want to _escape_ the heat."

Badd shrugs. "So we'll get an air conditioned hotel room."

"You want me to rot in a hotel room the whole time?" And now Garou is definitely pouting, working his way up to a full-on sulk.

"Oh, you'll come to the beach." Badd stretches as he stands up from the couch. "If you don't, you'll miss out on seein' me in my swimsuit."

x

Coaxing Garou out of the air conditioned hotel suite is less difficult than Badd had thought, although it does take teamwork from Badd and Zenko (she vocally judges Garou, while Badd refuses to strip down to his ( _short_ , _tight_ ) trunks until they're actually on the beach).

He only gives them trouble that first morning, willingly tagging along the rest of the time. Like this, their vacation gets a pretty fantastic start.

Sandcastles are built, Badd is buried against his will while asleep, Garou is dunked into the ocean in retaliation, Zenko turns it into a splash war. Garou only complains about the heat _once_ , and Badd asking for help with sunscreen quiets him indefinitely. Their beach isn't that crowded, Badd is only stopped for autographs twice, they eat plenty of ice cream and sleep in as late as they want.

Two entire days of pure vacation bliss pass as a pleasant blur.

And then, at around lunchtime on day three, proof that heroes are never _really_ on vacation comes trudging out of the ocean, dripping sludge and saltwater.

The monster is huge, and at first glance it seems about threat level demon, if Badd is feeling generous. It towers over the tallest palm tree, looking like a horrific swamp creature with blank eyes and a gaping mouth that releases haunting moans. By the looks of it, it's composed entirely of seaweed. Fish – dead and alive alike – stick out of its body here and there.

All in all, it's nothing that Badd can't handle, but it sure does send the rest of the beach screaming pretty quick.

Badd stands firm, though, with Zenko hiding behind his legs and Garou to his right. "That's nasty," he says, watching the monster's slow advance up the shore. Its feet slide through the sand, leaving slimy trails of deep grooves.

Garou's head dips in a nod. "Looks weak, though."

"Yeah," Badd agrees, "just big and annoyin'."

Stretching out his arms, Garou settles into a fighting pose, keeping his attention focused on the approaching monster. "No problem for us."

Badd makes sure that Zenko is still safe behind his legs as he bends sideways to pluck his bat out of their beach bag. Her expression is shaken, but she's sticking close and not so much as trembling – he's proud, but she can't stay here. "Nah, I'll handle this myself."

Garou falls out of his fighting stance. He blinks over at Badd. "…What?"

"You get Zenko outta here," Badd says, one hand on Zenko's head, the other slinging his bat over his bare shoulder. The monster, meanwhile, is slowly trudging its way up the shore; he watches it out of the corner of his eye.

"Why?" Garou, of course, can't cooperate worth shit.

For half a second, Badd takes his eyes off of that giant sea-swamp _thing_ to shoot Garou a glare. "Because I can't fight unless I know she's safe!"

"Then you take her," Garou says with a glare of his own, "and _I'll_ fight the monster."

"Neither of you should fight!" Zenko interrupts, grabbing Badd's hand off of her head to tug on it. There's an impressive pout on her face. "You promised never to fight in front of me!"

"I know, Zenko, but –"

"He looks scary – let's all leave together instead!"

"Zen," Badd says, holding onto her hand as he turns around to crouch in front of her. Behind him, he can feel Garou stepping in front to cover them. "We gotta fight, okay?"

"But –!"

"It's getting too close." Garou is tensed and ready to pounce, Badd can feel it even before he announces, "I'm going," and sprints off to confront the overgrown pile of seaweed.

As Garou runs, Badd does, too – albeit in the opposite direction. He grabs Zenko with his free arm, darting away from the beach and danger. A compromise it is, then, he decides as he deposits Zenko behind a thick palm tree. "Wait here and don't move," he says once he's set her down, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "we'll both be back in a second."

He doesn't wait or her inevitable protest, instead making a dash for where Garou is jabbing at the monster's ankles. From the looks of it, it's awfully flimsy, and Badd confirms this by sinking his bat into the other leg.

A burst of seaweed is released, but his bat sinks into the slimy mass, and he has to wrench it free. All the while, the creature keeps sliding along up the beach. More seaweed seems to grow over the gap.

"Is it regeneratin'?!" Badd's had enough of _that_ brand of bullshit.

"Yes," Garou grunts, hands digging in deep and dealing serious damage, only for it to be undone a moment later. "I can't even get it to fall over."

"Maybe if we try destroyin' both legs at once?"

"Well, now that you're _finally_ here, we can."

"Shut the fuck up and fight!"

It's a solid plan, Badd thinks, worth a shot – but ultimately it proves useless. The monster stumbles, sure, but one of its legs grows back fast enough that it doesn't fall. Its other leg regenerates while swinging forward, and Badd is caught so off guard he doesn't realize it's a kick until he's launched away.

As he picks himself up, he can hear Garou _laughing_ , damn him. There's seaweed all over Badd's front, and he tosses clumps of it off of himself as he runs back into the fray.

"That went well," Garou says, slipping and sliding and looking like he's trying to climb the thing.

"You got any better ideas?" Because Badd's starting to think the only way to win is for him to get beat up some more. Getting kicked across the beach helped, but if he gets _really_ battered, he might be able to come back strong enough to obliterate the thing…

…But _Zenko_ is watching from behind that tree, and this seaweed has too much _give_ to deal much damage, and Badd should be strong enough to win _without_ getting pummeled first here.

"One, actually," Garou says. He's tugging seaweed out by the handful by now. "If we go for the middle, I could scatter it more…we might have time to smash the whole thing."

That's kinda dumb, Badd thinks, but they gotta try something. Hacking away with his bat isn't doing the job. "How do we reach it? Ya obviously can't climb it." (Even though his attempts are kinda funny. But. Now isn't the time for that. Zenko is here and therefore in _danger_.)

Garou stops his scrabbling at the slimy, moving seaweed in favor of staring at Badd. Disentangling himself with a gross squelching sound, he stands there, looking Badd over from head to toe, eyes lingering in all the usual places.

"Garou." Talk about now not being the time. "What are you –"

Grabbing his wrist, Garou drags him off at a dead run, hauling him around a good distance in front of the advancing monster.

" _Garou_ ," Baddd growls. He stumbles on the sand, his bat slippery in his hand as they stop.

"Bend down."

" _What_?"

Garou's eyes roll, and he points at the ground as if to emphasize his point. "Bend down." And when Badd keeps on staring at him, still incredulous, he explains: "You're strong, right? You should be able to throw me at it."

Oh, now Badd gets it. "Ya want me to launch ya?" That could…actually be fun. If it works.

" _Yes_."

The monster is getting awfully close, and Garou is starting to sound exasperated, and a quick glance confirms Zenko is still behind that tree - so Badd crouches, holding his bat sideways and stable with both hands. Here goes nothing.

"Make sure you aim right," Garou warns.

And then he sprints forward, plants a foot on the bat, and Badd lifts with all of his strength.

Garou goes barreling into the chest of the creature, dead center. His hands part it in an explosion of seaweed. Green and wriggling arms, legs, and a head topple to the ground, going limp as they fall.

Trusting Garou to stick his landing, Badd makes a beeline for the head. Lining his bat up like a golf club, he gives an almighty swing, satisfied when it flies so far and fast that it disintegrates, muffled haunting moans dissipating.

He turns around to find Garou lazily kicking apart clumps of seaweed, all of it still and not moving to reconnect.

Well. That went better than expected.

"Nice aim," Garou says, tiny grin on his face. Figures he'd be happy about blowing off some steam like this.

"Thanks." Thrusting a fist out, Badd bumps it into Garou's shoulder. "Nice punch." And, alright, maybe Badd is, too. A fight is a fight, after all. Even if this one was pretty shit.

…The main downside here is the mess left behind. Seaweed is _everywhere_ , spattered along the beach in chunks, clogging the incoming waves, tangled in Badd's and hair and blanketing dozens of umbrellas….

"This place is kinda gross now." Badd runs meticulous fingers through his hair, tossing aside strips of seaweed as he finds them.

"Yep." Garou, damn him, looks almost _pristine_ but for the faint green stains on his trunks. And he went _through the thing's chest_ , for fuck's sake. "We can't exactly stay here, right?"

Zenko comes running from her hiding place to meet them, then, jumping at Badd. Her arms and legs wrap tight around his torso in a strong hug, and he drops his bat so he can hold her there.

"Sorry you had to see that," he mumbles.

He gets the feeling he'll pay for this somehow later, but for now Zenko only shakes her head, squeezing him tighter. When she lets go, her arms reach for Garou, who looks a bit surprised at the fact. Smirking, Badd steps closer to let her hug Garou while she stays perched in his own arms. Garou's return hug is a bit stiff, but she doesn't seem to notice.

 _Cute shit all around_ , Badd thinks.

Zenko's small, roundish nose wrinkles in distaste when she pulls back. "You both stink," she says, casting her little scowl around the beach. "And there's seaweed _everywhere_ …."

"Well," Badd sighs, hefting Zenko as they begin their trek back to the hotel, "the Hero Association should send someone to clean up the beach soon."

Garou kicks at the sand. "What if they spot me? I think I'm technically still a fugitive, or whatever." The irritation in his voice is palpable, and Zenko is looking at him all worried, and so in the end Badd has no choice.

"…Alright, fine. Ski lodge it is."

Garou's expression goes triumphant.

"But if a yeti attacks, you're fightin' it off yourself."

* * *

 **A/N:** Today's song: Wanderlust by Versa. The mood of the song doesn't really fit the fic at all, but...it's a ridiculous fic anyway, so, uh. What else could I do.

...Mostly I wanted an excuse to write Garou vs. no air conditioning and also a fight scene. I'm sorry.

Thanks for reading!


End file.
